Wahoooooooo! for no good reason god damn it!

Howdy there you funky people, lets get movin' to da funky funky beat woooo!

Right now that's out of my system my post shall commence. Hmmmm....since last week, Saturday I had a pooey day and felt like a big heap of...erm...poo so Ellie came round with chocolate and a dvd.....cheers ellie you know me so well. Then Sunday I was a bit lazy, taking the opportunity to watch t4 for the majority of it, but going jogging will ellie made up for that. Why is it that the rain only begins just as you've run too far for it to be worth running back? Me and ell got totally drenched and for some reason we found this predicament bloody hilarious...we even climbed a big rope climbing hexagon thing which I had never noticed in temple cowley before ever. Strangely I found a caterpillar on me...where did this caterpillar come from, I hadn't leaped through any trees or bushes so it must have blown onto me in the rain...it was raining caterpillars and frogs.

Anyhoo, not done much this week so far besides work but should have a good weekend coming up, Jade is in da vecinity so we shall be boogie'n on down here in Ox.

Ellie + Ben, can I borrow your blow up bed for jade, (the air filling sort not the exploding kind) -if you have not packed it up.....oooo it's so exciting, you will be round the corner soon, hoorah, and Ellie you can come and watch rubbishy, non-intellectual films with me without Ben dissaproving. Remind me to register for the tesco run next time you see me, and we need to go running again soooon, but not in the rain.

So hungry, must go eat capeletti filled ravioli, yummmmmmm

P.S. Don't buy any of the elvive shapmoo or conditioner in the funky pink bottles...it looks cool( I only got it to coordinate with my towels) but it makes your hair feel like shit.

P.P.S Sara, I will hopefully be in wolves for mothers day, oooh just think, you will be able to get stuff for mothers day now that your'e a mum, I always thought there should be a daughters day. I'm excited about quiche's arrival too

bye folks.

Crazy Postive Thinking.....

Okay first of all, news: My mother shall be a landlady in a months time. I have been assured this is good news...the fact that she can't pull a pint may present a few problems but hey I'm sure she will master the art in no time at all. And, she does spend the majority of her free time in the pub so she may as well get paid for it eh? I can just see her now, a scary meglemation of bette lynch, peggy mitchell, and Liz Macdonald. She is serious;y considering changing her hair colour in fear that she may actually become bette lynch. Mother, you will be the most stunning, and the most out of her tree landlady in the world, congratulations to you, Ricky and the Juntion Pub!!!and no naughty lock-ins! I'm telling you now though, there is only one side of the bar I shall be staying on when I visit. If you want any help painting etc. let me know, I'm willing to for a few free pints. P.S. Let ricky know I'm still bidding on the Silica.

I am sooo tired, I've been really busy this week which means yet again I have neglected the housework and I HATE doing it at the weekend. I had the best run ever on tuesday, totally cleared my head, was brilliant! Strangely I am in an optimistic mood considering I spent the majority of this week being stressed out and tired. But it is pay day today, and though this makes no difference to me financially(my outgoings are still more than my income, and thats budgeting minus food) I DON"T CARE. I am going to start enjoying myself a bit more, I know from this last week that I can live and function on £2.63 if necessary so welcome to the new carefree karis (yeh right, lets see how long that lasts) But this new positivity is making me do weird stuff, like today, I decided spontaneously not to get the bus and I walked into town from Botley in the rain...I haven't had a walk in the rain for a long time and it was actually really refreshing. Anyways...people will probably think I've gone totally nutty....but honestly, try it, go for a stroll next time it rains(just be warned, acid rain stings)

Well tonight I have a date with the telly, I have prepared myself for one hell of an evening by purchasing a curry, a bottle of wine, and a large bar of chocolate (I am doing junk food and alcohol at weekends only...well that's the plan)


Anyhoo, not much to say, a pretty uneventful week so I shall go finish getting fat. I have been intending to watch Eraserhead this week but not got round to it, so maybe tonight if I don't drop off in a moment(which is looking likely, god what happened to my stamina?) oooo, I finally watched sin city last week...long over due, and fabulous, my favourite bits were benicio del toro trying to talk with a slit throat, bruce willis pulling off the yellow dudes bits, elijah wood smiling at the fact that a dog was eating what was left of his legs, and all the scenes with Marv in-mickey rourke is in fact Marv I believe.

Night

P.S. Ben, well up for going out tomorrow night, Ellie-you are coming out no arguements, unless you have a viable excuse such as severe burns, severed leg, nits from the kids, lip stuck in a white board(heehee still can't believe that)

a date to remember.....

My original plan for valentines night was to buy myself some choccies and watch the Brits as I munched......(god how I wish I had done this), but oddly I found myself on a date. The evening began well, and ended pretty badly. Aghhhhh!

The world is full of smarmy arrogant blokes it seems....blokes that assume that all blonde women are stupid and ignorant. I am so frustrated, I got really dressed up and everything, all for a bleedin' plonker of a guy. I have the feeling that I asked too many questions, he got all agitated every time I expressed an informed opinion about something. What I should have done is acted dumb....maybe then he would have paid the blinkin' bill. Anyway, things can only get better right? Please tell me there are some decent guys around somewhere or my only alternatives are (a) to become a spinster with an array of feline friends (b) to explore lesbianism (c) to become so apathetic that I stop shaving my armpits and become an obese telly addict who eventually marries a horse.

Had a good night last night though, watched Basic Instinct which I haven't seen in years and decided that next time I go on a date I may take an ice pick with me.....I'm just joking.

Went to Chipping Norton today and guess who I saw wandering the cobbled streets...only mr jeremy clarkson! He looked well pissed off as well, afro shaking, fag in hand, huge gangly legs dragging across the floor and sporting an expression of complete disdain...made sure I peaked a look at what he was driving-twas a Bentley.Must remember to watch Top Gear, I'm always forgetting.

Anyhoo, going to go watch Sin city, can't believe I haven't seen this film yet, bye chaps.

P.S. I watched 'running with scissors'. It was okay but far too edited, there are huge chunks of stuff missing that were so important in the book, and the actors that played augusten, natalie, and Hope were all too old. I did think Brian Cox, Fiennes, and Anette Benning were good though, just a bit disappointed.

how is it sunday already?

I feel fat, (but not sassy)I have done no exercise this weekend (unless you count feeding the ducks but that only involves minimum arm effort)I devoured a chocolate pudding in the Pub earlier and instantly got a headache and felt like I was going to projectile vomit into the fireplace. Luckily this didn't happen, I just got in and I am catching up with corrie. I soooo need to relax, my head has been so full of stuff this week I thought steam was going to come out of my ears. So now I shall begin my 'must relax or will die" regime. I shall run a bath with lots of bubbles, light some patchouli incense, and get my book ready........arrrrrr I'm relaxing at the very thought.

I have also been a little preoccupied this week.....but I shall not reveal anything as of yet, don't want to jinx myself.

Oh poo, I just remembered I've got no milk! But I do have loo roll and that is good(I ran out the other day and had a panic attack)


Cheerio

money matters....and evil housework

Aghhhhhhh, I hate money (or the lack of it rather), not having an adequate amount of money makes me evolve into this awful moody cow. I have now become a coin obsessive-every penny bloody counts at the moment, it could mean the difference between one can of soup and two cans of soup. Again I have spent many an hour stressing about money this week. It is actually making me ill, I have a really sore throat today and feel physically exhausted, and I hate people that moan about money but that is why it is evil, it makes me into a compulsive moaner, so for this I apologise.

I realized today that I do not have a usb cable for my phone so I cannot get any photos off it which has pissed me off, I don't have much knowledge of phones and related phone accessories so I went into shock when the woman in The Carphone Warehouse said these usb things cost £30, god I felt a pang of guilt buying a bar of chocolate the other day (I'm only to buy necessities, and chocolate isn't one unfortunately), so to splash out on a bit of wire cannot be justified at this particular moment in time. And that means I'm going to have to wait till I'm paid before I can sell everything I own on Ebay (which won't take long). What bugs me most is that I was better off as a bleedin' student; cheap rent, shared bills, less stress, more drinking......oh the days of apathetic studying. At least when I was at uni I always had the thought in the back of my mind (it will all be worth it in the end) But to be honest I'm seriously questioning the point of having a degree, I'm still having to 'prove' myself and gain 'experience' in my job before I'm allowed to be treated like a human and paid a decent wage....a BA, an MA- means nothing it seems...I wouldn't mind but I stupidly put effort into my degree when what I should have done is worked in Tesco for three years and become head of the fish counter or something...my god I would have been a hell of a lot better off financially. There, my money rant is over, I promise.

Now I can moan about other stuff like the ridiculous amount of housework I have left myself this weekend, god I despise bloody cleaning and tidying and hoovering and washing-up, I want to be Mary Poppins, I want to say 'spitspot' and everything tidies itself away. It just seems like an awful waste of life, domesticity, yuk! And people who say 'oh I love cleaning, it's so therapeutic, it really gives me time to reflect'.....bollocks does it! Housework is housework, it is a bore, it is a chore, it is the bane of my life....my mother will testify that if asked to polish the furniture in my bedroom as a child I would break down and go into a depression. Some people, such as my dear old mum, are what I refer to as 'clean freaks'. My youngest brother Michael is also one of these(if you pull out a book on his bookcase a bit too far and leave it there so that it is no longer perfectly in line with the rest, he goes proper mental, it's hilarious). These people cannot relax if mess surrounds them. They get agitated if an empty mug is left on the dinner table, if books and clothes are thrown willynilly over a chair etc. Now, I'm not saying I don't have certain standards because I do, I don't like living in 'dirt' but I am much more lax on the whole bordering on OCD nature of 'clean'. I live in what I describe as the other OCD...'Organized Chaos Disorder' Everything has a place, whether it be on a shelf or on the floor, but I know where everything is and where everything belongs. I feel strange if I don't have at least a small pile of washing up to do throughout the week, and okay so I probably should hoover more frequently, and I don't actually own any furniture polish but hey, there is more to life than a friggin spotless abode.
My fantasy is that one day I will go minimalist but the concept is fading fast....I just seem to acquire junk and clutter unknowingly, I attract messiness somehow. Who is it that said that stuff about being in an uncluttered space creates an uncluttered mind or something like that? I don't want an uncluttered mind, I want a full, overflowing, cluttered mind, so not tidying is for the benefit of my sanity........or something.

SNOW!

Snow snow all over the place, would you like some in your face?

Yes please Dr. Seuss, I love the snow it is so soft and white and snowy and cold and it is my friend. I was strangely jolly all day because the snow does stuff to my mind...it makes me regress back to childhood which is why I threw (perhaps over zealoulsy) snowballs at people as they arrived at work. Only a few people managed to get to work, I was so excited to go in the snow I forgot all about actually being at work, I wish it was snowy all the time, I would build an igloo in my garden, they can be quite cosey if build correctly. When I have figured out how to use my phone(this may take some time) I will post a picture on here of snowy work.

Please let there be more snow tomorrow, hoorah. It is so odd that public transport suddenly becomes most reliant in times of great snoweth? I've never got to work via two buses so quickly before, and with such beautiful scenery!

Must go watch some mighty boosh

bye.

To grow my fringe or not grow my fringe?... that is the question

When flattened down my fringe reaches midway down my nose, it is far too long and I have a dilemma, shall I tolerate the annoyance of a floppy fringe for a few more months until it has grown out, or do I do what I have done for the past year and chop it off again? Please bear in mind the fact that the last couple of times I cut my fringe I ended up looking like a playmobile toy:

Please leave comments instructing me, I shall ponder until somebody comes up with an idea, I'm so indecisive these days.

Cheers me dears. Off to watch Running With Scissors if it has finished downloading, wahoooooo!

sundays child is red and blotchy

I am itching like hell, I woke up with ten bites, ten! I remember waking up last night and hearing some kind of flailing bloodsucking insect aimlessly flying about but being too tired to kill the blighter, now I'm covered in whopping great bites and I don''t look too far removed from the elephant man (god rest his soul, the mighty john merrick)

I had a really good day today, funny how a bit of fresh air and exercise can get your head together. Went jogging round the university parks, it's so nice actually seeing the sun, it's seldom possible during the week as it's dark as I leave for work and dark when I get home. I saw a little girl with the coolest shoes ever, they squeak as you walk, fantastic!

There were two guys unicycling down cowley rd. how weird is that, they were just doing it like it was the most normal thing ever, like unicycling was a perfectly obvious choice of transport, I don't know if I can still unicycle, I could years ago at Center Parks.

Sara, cheers for ringing me just now, good to hear a fellow wolves accent, we must meet up soon and come up with a cunning plan so that when the baby is due and about to pop out, you don't disgrace yourself and the infant by doing an almighty poo. Or if you must do a poo, watch YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT, and use Gillian Mckeith's wisdom in order to create the perfect poo, so perfect that Mark will frame it and hang it in the nursery in memory of that sacred event.

Right, off to cover myself in savlon, sexy don't you think? Usually I'd choose germolene but I've run out. Louis Theroux is on hooray!

saturdays child is full of cold, and revels hopefully.

Back home at last, I have had a headache for two days now, and my head feels all full of cold, I think I have a head cold.

I went to the bank today and was told the waiting time to speak to an advisor was three hours so I asked the guy so many questions that he got flustered and went and got me a form to fill in so that I would leave him alone, I filled in the form and wrote strict instructions on it then handed it back to him which took considerably less time that three hours. I don't usually like being so assertive but THREE HOURS on a saturday, craziness!

I'm in a slightly more positive mood this evening though going to see 'Bobby' at the cinema was perhaps not the cheeriest of choices. It was really good actually and we were surprised at the lack of hype but it does tend to highlight the fact that America is still suffering from the same problems than it was in 1968 so probably considered a bit anti-war/pro-democratic and all that. Go Hillary Clinton. Bobby was only shown once today at one cinema in Oxford, how ridiculous is that? And what's more, you have to risk getting your car burned out by going to the VUE cinema in Blackbird Leys.

Anyway, it was good but the cinema fell silent at the end of the film, everybody had fallen into a state of utter depression I think (and all were probably preparing themselves for the worst when they reached their inevitably stolen/burned/graffited cars). The experience was tainted a little by me forgetting to get my revels out of Ben's car boot, revels make everything better. I saw Venus last week, brilliant, Peter O'toole and Leslie Philips are great! Go and see it, you will feel a little uncomfortable at times and and feel compelled to hate the main characters but you don't, you love them for all their traits.

I've emerged triumphant from my suicidal coma and I shall now be positive thinking karis with a life full of doing free things that I shall make exciting somehow. Wise words from sarasizzle have both comforted and disturbed me into action.

OOOO, in my gloominess I forgot to mention some exciting news yesterday: my favourite book ever 'running with scissors' by Augusten Burroughs is soon to be released in the form of a film at the cinema, wahoooooo, starring Joseph Fiennes, Gwen Paltrow, Brian Cox, Annette Benning, Alec Baldwin........http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0439289/
I hope it lives up to my expectations as I have very vivid visions of each and every character. I'm going to attempt to download a version because I'm impatient.

And devour my revels.........

p.s. Thankyou Ellie and Ben for driving me to sainsburys and the cinema, ellie I owe you ticket money! OOOO and I can't wait till you move, just think in a few weeks you will be back here in Cowley you lucky things!!! Have fun skiing tomorrow.

I can't afford to relieve the boredom....

Do you ever feel like there is no meaning to life, that your very existence is pointless and things will never improve. Life is a monotony of routine, the very notion of my life becoming intresting has been crushed and swept to the back of my brain then catergorized under 'stupid ideas'

It is friday night and I am staying in, alone and skint and on the verge of going into a depression. Okay so things could be worse, I could have lost a limb or incurred brain damage or something equally as distressing, so when put into perspective my problems are minimal but I still feel like a load of rubbish(at least if in a vegetative state I would be blissfully ignorant of the boredom). I have come to the realization that I can't afford to have a life: 'Having a life' is not included in my ridiculous monthly budget that is so small it's virtually non existent. I was fully aware that living on my own would be expensive but now that it is reality I don't like it, the only way I can entertain myself is to do free stuff which is never exciting. I could begin a life of petty crime, that would be thrilling I suppose, I could go around stealing stationary or cakes. When I'm really bored I make lists so here is one:

Living on my own the pros and cons

pros:

1. I only have to cook for myself
2. I can live in a big pile of mess and not worry
3. I don't have to wait to use the loo or shower
4. If I had a bed I would have it all to myself
5. I have full control of the remote control
6. I can sing in the shower without getting told to shut up
7. I can have a bath with the door open and with the t.v. angled towards me
8. I can talk on the phone without any background noise
9. I can cook and hoover in just my pants without anyone raising an eyebrow(a bit chilly for that at the mo though) I have now made this into an exercise regime instead of going to the gym to save money.
10. I get to do all the food shopping thus buying things I like and not compromising at all


cons:

1. I have to do all the cooking and don't have anyone to cook for me
2. I have to do all the cleaning
3. there is a distinct lack of conversation(unless talking to yourself counts)
4. I have to have background noise (radio, tv, music) or I go insane
5. I have nobody to show my pitta bread sculptures to
6. I have to rely on my alarm clock to wake me up
7. When I watch something funny there is nobody to laugh with (god that sounds really depressing-I may go hang myself, if I can manage to without assistance)
8. Rent is extortionate and leaves me skint
9. There is no sharing of bills
10. There is nobody to check I haven't left my straighteners on(this could lead to burning down of flat)
11. I almost break my arms carrying food shopping home

Well that little exercise has made me feel more crap. Nevermind.

I'm off to watch some jean claude van dame film that has just begun.....is it true that he is a nymphomaniac in real life? I think he could pass as a primordial dwarf, he is only about 4 foot or something...he would still kick your ass though nevertheless......anyway, byeeeeee!

BT...and their inability to communicate

Okay, hello folks, I'm back online hooray...but first a rant I'm afraid. I now detest BT due to their complete inadequacy. Considering they are a communications company they seem to have a lot of trouble understanding the english language, and twice now I have had been transferred to BT employees with speech impediments. Over a month ago I made my Broadband order.....I have complained so relentlessley about BT that I just can't be arsed to go into detail now but to cut a long tedious story short: they mucked up my order, I took a day off work to hang around for my line to be connected which never happened because it was windy then a deaf engineer turned up a day late to fit a line(and said he thought I had a wiggan accent) as I say, he was deaf....anyway it has taken FOREVER but now I have the internet.

I spent most of january being skint.....and there's more skintness to be had this month, so back on a strict diet of cuppa soups and pasta (not simultaneously though). I have begun jogging as part of my new years plan to become the female equivalent of HEMAN, yes I shall become SHEMAN, no that sounds a bit hemaphroditey......SHE RAH! (that was the female one in heman right?) I am going to fight fictitious baddies and yeild a sword, and get rides on battlecat, it's going to be awsome but so far I have only jogged....the rest will come, I must give it time.

Anyhoo got to go cook some large pork cumberland sausages.....I may even go as far as to eat them!

Toodlepip you crazy cats!