money matters....and evil housework

Aghhhhhhh, I hate money (or the lack of it rather), not having an adequate amount of money makes me evolve into this awful moody cow. I have now become a coin obsessive-every penny bloody counts at the moment, it could mean the difference between one can of soup and two cans of soup. Again I have spent many an hour stressing about money this week. It is actually making me ill, I have a really sore throat today and feel physically exhausted, and I hate people that moan about money but that is why it is evil, it makes me into a compulsive moaner, so for this I apologise.

I realized today that I do not have a usb cable for my phone so I cannot get any photos off it which has pissed me off, I don't have much knowledge of phones and related phone accessories so I went into shock when the woman in The Carphone Warehouse said these usb things cost £30, god I felt a pang of guilt buying a bar of chocolate the other day (I'm only to buy necessities, and chocolate isn't one unfortunately), so to splash out on a bit of wire cannot be justified at this particular moment in time. And that means I'm going to have to wait till I'm paid before I can sell everything I own on Ebay (which won't take long). What bugs me most is that I was better off as a bleedin' student; cheap rent, shared bills, less stress, more drinking......oh the days of apathetic studying. At least when I was at uni I always had the thought in the back of my mind (it will all be worth it in the end) But to be honest I'm seriously questioning the point of having a degree, I'm still having to 'prove' myself and gain 'experience' in my job before I'm allowed to be treated like a human and paid a decent wage....a BA, an MA- means nothing it seems...I wouldn't mind but I stupidly put effort into my degree when what I should have done is worked in Tesco for three years and become head of the fish counter or something...my god I would have been a hell of a lot better off financially. There, my money rant is over, I promise.

Now I can moan about other stuff like the ridiculous amount of housework I have left myself this weekend, god I despise bloody cleaning and tidying and hoovering and washing-up, I want to be Mary Poppins, I want to say 'spitspot' and everything tidies itself away. It just seems like an awful waste of life, domesticity, yuk! And people who say 'oh I love cleaning, it's so therapeutic, it really gives me time to reflect'.....bollocks does it! Housework is housework, it is a bore, it is a chore, it is the bane of my life....my mother will testify that if asked to polish the furniture in my bedroom as a child I would break down and go into a depression. Some people, such as my dear old mum, are what I refer to as 'clean freaks'. My youngest brother Michael is also one of these(if you pull out a book on his bookcase a bit too far and leave it there so that it is no longer perfectly in line with the rest, he goes proper mental, it's hilarious). These people cannot relax if mess surrounds them. They get agitated if an empty mug is left on the dinner table, if books and clothes are thrown willynilly over a chair etc. Now, I'm not saying I don't have certain standards because I do, I don't like living in 'dirt' but I am much more lax on the whole bordering on OCD nature of 'clean'. I live in what I describe as the other OCD...'Organized Chaos Disorder' Everything has a place, whether it be on a shelf or on the floor, but I know where everything is and where everything belongs. I feel strange if I don't have at least a small pile of washing up to do throughout the week, and okay so I probably should hoover more frequently, and I don't actually own any furniture polish but hey, there is more to life than a friggin spotless abode.
My fantasy is that one day I will go minimalist but the concept is fading fast....I just seem to acquire junk and clutter unknowingly, I attract messiness somehow. Who is it that said that stuff about being in an uncluttered space creates an uncluttered mind or something like that? I don't want an uncluttered mind, I want a full, overflowing, cluttered mind, so not tidying is for the benefit of my sanity........or something.