Happily deranged: memoirs of a loony
After reading 'Running With Scissors' by Augusten Burroughs (a while ago this was), I felt enthused enough to start writing down my own childhood memories. I sooooo loved reading this book; I laughed out loud on many occasions, but not with that nervous 'this is hilar
ious but hideously disturbing ' laughter, but because I could totally relate to his bizarre upbringing. (only in some senses, I never moved in with a sex obsessed psycologist or anything)
Ellie-remind me to lend you 'DRY', equally as gripping!
I came up with the idea of scrawling a few stories down on paper last Christmas then got really busy and forgot all about it. But today I found an old notepad with a list of possible Chapter headings (something I had written whilst on the toilet, I could tell because I had used my toilet pen. My toilet pen is made from a toilet brush, only kidding, I have no idea when I wrote this or where, as for the toilet pen, only a pipedream.) What matters is that I want to know which chapter headings (if any) would compell you to read on? And which ones are just pants? And of course, I would illustrate the book, far too many adult books lack pictures and quite frankly, I'm not impressed. Bring on adult picture books (no not dirty stuff,).
There are lots of heading ideas here:
ious but hideously disturbing ' laughter, but because I could totally relate to his bizarre upbringing. (only in some senses, I never moved in with a sex obsessed psycologist or anything)Ellie-remind me to lend you 'DRY', equally as gripping!
I came up with the idea of scrawling a few stories down on paper last Christmas then got really busy and forgot all about it. But today I found an old notepad with a list of possible Chapter headings (something I had written whilst on the toilet, I could tell because I had used my toilet pen. My toilet pen is made from a toilet brush, only kidding, I have no idea when I wrote this or where, as for the toilet pen, only a pipedream.) What matters is that I want to know which chapter headings (if any) would compell you to read on? And which ones are just pants? And of course, I would illustrate the book, far too many adult books lack pictures and quite frankly, I'm not impressed. Bring on adult picture books (no not dirty stuff,).
There are lots of heading ideas here:
- Beans and Brownies
- PIY: Pierce It Yourself
- Jade gets plastered (from the waist down)
- Drowned Tamagotchi (digital doggy paddle)
- Wallace and gromit: Orthodontist style
- sibling rivalry: Rocky Horror Show
- Embracing my nashers
- The Curse of Stamina: the original Gump (alluded to briefly in a recent blog 'the unfortunate contortion of my mother's womb'
- Bamford Road: ASBO City
- GCSE History V's Netball
- When dogs fly....(and brothers wear tights)
- The Kagool Dispute
- Causing a Racket
- Playdoh: Jade gets creative
- Head bangers and mash
- Plug Prongs hurt....(ellie, your favourite)
- Nasal sweetcorn/polysterene ball, whatever...
- A hernia, a splinter, and a sea of jelly
- Mum + nail scissors: Mike goes contemporary
- Mum sees red on sportsday
- Remaining Stabilized
- Caravans, cousins, and contagions
- It's all relative (brief encounters)
- The Tale of the Smoking soles
- Pancake Day and Phillipa flips
- Year four: An eyeopener
- Gymnastics: The Flaw routine
- Dancer in the dark
- Sorry Mart.....broke your skateboard
- Sorry Mart.....fractured your skull
- Hell's Angels: Heavenly Creatures.
- Big Kay: my mum is a body builder and other dilemmas
posted by kaz at 12:42 am
4 Comments:
Ah, the tarot course and the curry woman. what was her name? Big blob of a woman. I DO have my certificate somewhere. Must add that one to my CV.
Did I tell you that Jan died? (not funny I know). Freak horseriding accident if I remember correctly.
Your chapter titles fill me with joy... each and every one of them. Here, for the record, are my faves (for various reasons):
PIY: Pierce It Yourself (oh to be Karis with her wafer thin lobes)
Jade gets plastered (from the waist down) (he he)
Bamford Road: ASBO City (the 'wall of mullets' still makes me smile)
GCSE History V's Netball (i'm curious as George about what this is about...?)
When dogs fly....(and brothers wear tights) (I remember this well - SUPER WALLY!!)
The Kagool Dispute (Is this the 'Helly Hansen' thing with that tosser who punched you?)
Mum + nail scissors: Mike goes contemporary
Mum sees red on sportsday (do elaborate!)
The Tale of the Smoking soles
Sorry Mart.....broke your skateboard
Sorry Mart.....fractured your skull
Big Kay: my mum is a body builder and other dilemmas
Write it write it write it.
A few more suggestions:
'She had enormous ears...' Anancy Drew and Selmonella Posioning
"Light as A Feather Stiff as a board"
"3 MCs and one strange day..."
"Blind Jenny's Waggon Wheel"
"Bendy Feet and Haystack Hair - me and my shimmering flute"
I could go on...
sara you just almost gave me a hernia-I had soooo totally forgotton about enny and the waggon wheel, oh my god, I'm getting shivers up my spine just thinking about it. Ha! Remeber "jenny, do you want the light on or off?' (she's nlind by the way), and "jenny, did you knoe you'd pissed yourself?"
Yes! It is the helly hansen thing, still can't get over the abuse!
I will try and write a few down!
spelling corrections on my last comment:
enny=jenny
remeber=remember
nlind=blind
knoe=know
I feel better now. I am still tipsy from the fondue.
by the way sar-how on earth did jan manage to die in a freak accident, I mean being a teacher of the tarot and all things premanitionary, surley she would have got a message, I don't know, something like 'Don't go near a fekking horse' or something?
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